to buy, or not to buy: that is the question

Yesterday as I was shopping with friends, I realized that I am a very, very material person. I probably should have realized this before my twentieth year of life, but sometimes it takes a while for a person to see something in themselves, even if others may have seen it already. Finding something I like and not having the money to buy it will ruin my day, sometimes week if it's something I really like. The opposite is the same; whenever I buy clothes, jewelry, purses, shoes, even home decorations, I could stare admirably at my purchase and be so excited for it for days. Until the next item I see and want comes along. I don't like to be a material person, and I really don't want material possessions to dictate what my mood is in life, but how do you just stop?

Before someone calls me superficial, I'll admit it, I definitely am; but can you be both superficial and deep? I would like to think that I am at least deep a majority of the time. I definitely value my boyfriends personality, his love, his beliefs and morals way more than his bank account. Truth be told, we wouldn't be dating if I only cared about what was in his bank account! I love my family and friends because of the way they make me laugh, they are always there when I need them, they love me unconditionally and a million more reasons. That makes me a little less superficial, right?

I vowed last night as I contemplated what things I needed to buy for vacation two weeks from now, that I would only buy the necessities in my life. Then it hit me, what are the necessities? I needed work pants, (which I did go out and buy today, but at a can't pass up price) yet I already had two pairs, so is it really necessary for me to buy more? Considering I work four to five days a week, I don't think it's unnecessary to buy more work pants. What about buying groceries? I live with my boyfriend and his parents, and they buy all of the groceries, but very unhealthy ones. I have been trying to lose weight, also for that vacation in two weeks, and it is so hard to lose any weight when everything in the house and everything they fix is so fattening. So then, is it necessary for me to spend my money on other groceries when they already provide us with food? That's what my whole days thoughts have been about, the necessary and unnecessary costs in my life and how I can change the unnecessary and my desire for them. I just can't seem to settle on the which is which.